Time to turn over a new leaf, folks. Keeping track of what day it is can sometimes be inexplicably daunting, so you'll be needing a 2009 calendar. Who knew there were so many crazy, weird, downright brilliant interpretations of the lowly day counter, advanced far beyond crossed-off days on the prison cell wall?

Because each day is an ever-smaller percentage of the total days we've lived, each year seems shorter. Maybe that's why, to some of us, the year 2009 sounds like science fiction. 

Chrono Shredder
Great for those who want to forget the past, shredding each day into oblivion as it passes.

Calendar Matches
We've heard of killing time, but now you can strike a match and burn it, one day at a time.

20 Year Warranty Calendar
This graphical representation of 20 years sticks out from the wall so much, it might be getting in your the way for two decades.

Ambient Clock
Beyond a mere clock, the Ambient Clock (still in beta) is wirelessly linked to your Google Calendar, changing colors from blue when you're idle to bright orange when you're in the middle of a scheduled event.

Jenda Lifetime Voice Calendar
Forget typing, just talk to this $40 calendar and it records (and then plays back) your important reminders with a single touch.

Bubble Calendar
Got a jones for popping bubble wrap? Mark each day of 2009 with a pop for $30. 

T-shirt 2009
Wear this T-shirt calendar, cross off each day of 2009 with its attached pen, and then you can stand it up in the corner for posterity. Deodorant not included.

Antikythera Celestial Machine
Is it a calendar, calculator or ancient computer? Yes. More of a demonstration of planetary and stellar motion than a calendar, this hand-built marvel counts the days and signs of the zodiac on a grand scale.

Everlasting Adhesive-Tape Calendar
Stick it up anywhere, get organized forever. Match up the roll of days with the roll of dates, and you're golden. Or, uh, bright day-glo yellow.

LEGO Desktop Calendar
Stack these three LEGO-inspired cubes however you want, and then you can accurately count how many days you wasted attempting to build that $500, 5195-piece Star Wars Millennium Falcon LEGO